Self Love on Valentine’s Day

  Valentine’s Day is almost upon us or some celebrate this weekend due to expenses on the actual day. I was going to be bitter this year but being bitter doesn’t get us anywhere. This is the first Valentine’s Day in seven years where I do not have a Valentine that is not related to me. 2016 was a rough year in my love life and with rough patches in relationships; confidence, motivation and self doubt happens. However, this is not a bitter or sad post. This blog is not just a weight loss journey for myself. I am practicing health that goes beyond the scale.

   I am here to tell myself and all of you Valentine Dateless readers that you are loved. You love yourself. If you struggle with this (like myself) then I suggest practicing self love this Valentine’s Day. Valentine’s Day is just a day. Yes, the hearts and lovey dovey posts are everywhere, but don’t be bitter. If someone truly loved you..they would be with you everyday of the year. If they truly loved you then they would never make you question your self worth. Again, it is just a day. People feel the need to construct holidays as ONE special day. This ONE special day should be looked at EVERYDAY. This also includes loving yourself.

 A little about myself… I used to construct holidays as ONE special day. I was rather obsessed with it. I used to over think a lot when Christmas, Valentine’s Day, my birthday, and other holidays would happen. If it did not go as planned in my head; I would get depressed. Not only the holiday for myself but I would get high anxiety about giving gifts. I wanted everything to be perfect. Again..this is only ONE day and should not define you or any relationship.

 Anyway, all my single readers (relationship readers this could count towards you too!) forget about that day and practice self love. You are the only thing you can control in your life. If you are not happy then go out and change it! Sometimes we make decisions that hurt others but you need to be happy. Life is too short to be miserable and bullied around. Do things that make you happy. Take care of yourself. Surround yourself with people who will be around you more then that ONE day.

Here is the break down of my self loving Valentine’s Day:

-I will go to spin class at 6am. I will start right away with showing myself that I care about myself with exercise. Spin is something I enjoy and staying in shape is something my body deserved.

-I will eat a healthy breakfast and most likely watch RuPaul’s Drag Race. Eating all my meals shows I love to keep my body fueled. RuPaul’s Drag Race is a show I enjoy and keeps me stress free.

-Before my shower, I will do a face mask. I actually purchased a LUSH Valentine’s Day gift for myself this morning. I care about my skin and since I am getting older; I am trying to take better care of it. Also, treat yourself! If you have the funds, purchase something that makes you happy. 

-I am going to work for most of the day but I will make sure to get dressed up and put on some pretty lip stick. This will show my students and fellow faculty members that I care about my appearance and I feel so beautiful when I dress up.

-When I get home, I am not sure what a I will do right away. I may do some more work or I will crochet the blanket I am working on. I enjoy prep and grading for it helps me focus and not be behind on deadlines. Crocheting is something I love because it makes me feel less stressed.

-Finally, I plan to get ice cream (will count Weight Watcher points) with my girlfriends. It is important to have self love but it is important to show respect and compassion to the people in your life. I plan to do this with my parents too. However, it shouldn’t be only on this ONE day. It should be everyday. 

 You should find love within yourself and show appreciation and love to the people who stay in your life. Life is rocky and the ones who decide to stay and not leave..well they are the best people to keep with you. They know your best and worst days and are willing to stick with you. Not only that but you decide to stick around their best and worst.

 I know self love is sometimes hard to achieve. You’re reading the best example of someone who does struggle with it. It takes time and it is not easy. Which time and work, you can do it. I know I can do it.

Happy Valentine’s Day everyone! Love yourself and remember how awesome you are. 

Living: Independence is Amazing

The last few weeks has been a lot of self searching for me. I am learning it is okay to go off and do things on my own. I am learning that independence is not a bad thing. If you want to do something then go out and do it. If you wait for others you may not experience the wonders this world or life could offer.

Back during the 4th of July week I went to NY city. I love the city but I  never went alone before. This trip was elebrating. I took the train, walked Time Square, went to Ham4Ham, went to Central Park, ate at a resturant, and saw a Broadway show all by myself. It was a wonderful time. I saw so many different things where if I was someone else I could have missed something. I plan to do this again the end of August.

I did a lot of walking too. I was a beast that day.

Another thing I started to do alone was go to drag shows. I did at lot with the art of drag for my Master’s degree. Also, I am addictes to Rupaul’s Drag Race and the queens on there. My one friend started tagging along with me which is nice. I love going to drag shows for fhe confidence they have is amazing. The people who attend are confident with theirselves and this makes me comfortable.

Finally, this weekend I went into Philadelphia because I saw a Broadway Karaoke Battle at a bar. I was interested in singing but I wanted to be in a room with other people who liked what I enjoyed which is Broadway. I got brave and signed up. I sang Maybe This Time from the musical Cabaret. Four people were awarded prizes. Fifteen people competed.

I took fourth place. I won money too! What I actually won was confidence in myseld to sing infront of a group of strangers, go off to a city/bar by myself and do something I really wanted.
I am finally living and I love it.


Out of My Rut

  Last time I really wrote on here I was a negative Nancy. I was in a huge rut I could not get out of. I found myself feeling lost because I was having a hard time losing weight. I feel like I had a hard time getting back to old habits. 

  So for the last couple of weeks I got back into high gear. The month of Feburary I could attend Spin class three or four times a week. I also cut back on drinking beer and I stopped buying candy. I also stopped eating peanut butter from a jar but went to powder peanut butter.

  I also learned to stop snacking at night. I used to eat popcorn a lot and I took that out of my diet. Popcorn is nothing but carbs and salt. That makes you retain water and feel bloated. Why should I eat that?

I am doing so well! I am out of the 80’s which was a hard struggle for me. I am so happy to still be out of the 80’s this week. I do not even care I did not lose weight. 

  I am serving English Professor realness.

 This semester has been stressful with trying to teach students to write amazing research papers. I had to learn this semester I may expect too much from them and need to take it easy. It has been very hard for me this semester. It most likely has been in my head. Sometimes I have a hard time getting out of my head. 

 The past month has been a true eye opener for me that I need to relax and have confidence. If people judge me based off my teaching style, my weight, or personality than forget them.

 Losing some weight the last couple weeks makes some of my old clothes fit. I am also experimenting with makeup because I want my face to stand out more.  

I am turning 27 in a couple of weeks and I have never felt younger. Even though I am a professor who holds my students attention and need to be adult…I still feel so young. 

Here is to being confident and positive!