The Best Night of my Life

The shooting in Orlando was a terrible tradgey. It really hurt my heart to hear something like this happened to a community that is all about love and acceptance.

 Over the last year I joined in events with the gay community. Mostly drag shows to be specific. I am not a homosexual but I believe that life is worth living. We can not go through life worrying and hating. Life should be about loving who you are and the people around you. Again, love and acceptance. This community has showed me this. For the first time EVER in my life I love myself. I feel comfortable in my own skin because I feel I am not judged and I can be myself.

On July 21st, Philadelphia did a charity event for the tradgedy in Orlando. All the bars in the Gayborhood opened their doors if you had a wrist band. You could jump from bar to bar and not worry what to do because there were so many events. I went with two girlfriends of mine. The night was amazing.


Never have I witnessed so many people together for one event. No fights, no judgment and no worries. Everywhere we went we met so many people. We did things we never did before such as dance for hours. 


 Glitter thrown onto our bodies, accidently giving a drag queen a $20, catching Pokemon in the middle of the street and running into people from your home town. To end the night we sang Seasons of Love at the top of our lungs. In the past I would have recorded it but living in the moment was ten times sweeter.

I did not have any negative thoughts, I felt confident and comfortable. It was a night I will always remember and it was all for a good cause. The event raised 70,000 that night. It is an amazing feeling I was apart of this loving and accepting night.


This community has really changed my outlook on life. 


 However, I am still finding glitter in my room and bathroom a week later!

-Jackie

Living: Independence is Amazing

The last few weeks has been a lot of self searching for me. I am learning it is okay to go off and do things on my own. I am learning that independence is not a bad thing. If you want to do something then go out and do it. If you wait for others you may not experience the wonders this world or life could offer.

Back during the 4th of July week I went to NY city. I love the city but I  never went alone before. This trip was elebrating. I took the train, walked Time Square, went to Ham4Ham, went to Central Park, ate at a resturant, and saw a Broadway show all by myself. It was a wonderful time. I saw so many different things where if I was someone else I could have missed something. I plan to do this again the end of August.



I did a lot of walking too. I was a beast that day.

Another thing I started to do alone was go to drag shows. I did at lot with the art of drag for my Master’s degree. Also, I am addictes to Rupaul’s Drag Race and the queens on there. My one friend started tagging along with me which is nice. I love going to drag shows for fhe confidence they have is amazing. The people who attend are confident with theirselves and this makes me comfortable.


Finally, this weekend I went into Philadelphia because I saw a Broadway Karaoke Battle at a bar. I was interested in singing but I wanted to be in a room with other people who liked what I enjoyed which is Broadway. I got brave and signed up. I sang Maybe This Time from the musical Cabaret. Four people were awarded prizes. Fifteen people competed.


I took fourth place. I won money too! What I actually won was confidence in myseld to sing infront of a group of strangers, go off to a city/bar by myself and do something I really wanted.
I am finally living and I love it.

-Jackie

A Better Person 

Things to Do for Myself and Make Me a Better Person:
-Budget money 

-Save money (move out)

-Eat healthier

-Stop drinking like a fish

-Work out

-Not care what people say about me

-Don’t look for relationships

-Sing

-Dance

-Read

-Write

-Explore new places/try new things

-Wish everyone a happy birthday on FB 

-Make blankets to people who mean the world to me.

-Learn something new

-Send out Christmas cards

-Make more people laugh

-Learn to cook

-Teach

-Sleep

-Don’t waste your time on people who will not take the time to spend it with you.

I am first. I am inimitable. I am bound for greatness.
-Jackie

Struggling

I have been away from this blog for a long time. I apologize, but things have been tough. I had a huge shake in my personal life and it has caused me to lose focus on what is important. Myself.

 I focused all my time on work and doing things that was not healthy. I was drinking a lot and not sleeping. I have been go go go and not slowing down. I had to keep busy. I could not have my mind stay still. If it stayed still..I would be lost in my thoughts. 

 So, if you have been emailing me or reaching out to me; I am sorry for not responding. I am not a weight loss role model right now. I have been  gaining weight and I have not worked out in a month. I lost motivation. 

 I am trying to get back on track. I had a week off and my mind is clearer. I hope to get back into old habits with eating right and workouts. 

My alarm is set to go to spin class. I hope to go back to it. I decided to cut my drinking to only one alcoholic beverage. I need to stay away from carbs and sweets. 

 I need to work on myself. I am what is important right now, but it is hard to see it. Life is very stressful. I feel as if there is a lot of pressure on my shoulder that it is pulling me down and crushing me. I want to move on to “adulthood” but I don’t know what the next step is. I love my job and it is the only thing that gives me purpose..but it is not full time. It doesn’t help me move onto the next step.

I am searching for answers. My generation really got screwed  over. Doing what you love is dead. 
Anyway, I apologize for being low key. I am just struggling right now and I know no one wants to read that.
-Jackie