Feeling Sick When I Workout

Has this ever happened to you? Well it has never happened to me..well my first time spinning it has but that is a different story..

Right now I am sitting in the locker room because I feel sick to my stomach. This whole week while working out I feel like I am going to throw up. Today my head is pounding like a migraine. The pain is behind my eyes. Is this all in my head or is something happening? I am so discouraged right now.

I feel like I am failing fast.

-Jackie

My name is Jackie and I am addicted to food..

I have not been posting because I can not find anything positive to say. I try to be positive but I would be a liar. I have an addiction and things are just getting worse. My goal is so far away. Once it was so close and it seems to get farther and farther away from me..

I am stressed. I am 170 lbs and it is because I can not stop eating. I have a problem and it is my addiction to food. I am emotional eater. I eat when I am happy, sad, bored, anxious, and depressed. I can not stop thinking about food. When I work out that is all I think about. When I am at home I think of eating. The only time I do not think about food is at work but since my hours were cut I am home earlier. Good news is I am leaving in Feb to start substitute teaching but hours are not always consistent and that makes me worry..So I eat more.

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I am failing. Failing big time. I workout but my eating habits are shit. I have tried every type of motivation but nothing is working. I changed weight loss strategies, I tired putting subliminal messages in my car/mirror, I tried reading Bob Harper again, change different workouts…but nothing is working. Nothing is motivating me to go back to what I did and stop eating..
Sure..you are going to tell me it is up to me to stop but THAT IS NOT WORKING EITHER. I stayed positive and talked about this keep positive and it is your health and your body but clearly that is not working either.

I am just so disappointed in myself..
Everything I am doing is not working. I just keep eating…I am failing.

-Jackie

Transformation Tuesday

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I have not really posted in a while. I apologize for this. I will have to post something really soon about the things I am doing. Right now I am showing off another transformation. I was not even going to do one but the before picture popped into my TimeHop app. I had to share.

Have a great day.

-Jackie

Transformation Tuesday: Family at Graduation

Today I will showcase how far my family and myself has come with our weight loss. My brother and I started soon after my BA graduation while my Mom started a few months earlier.

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We have come a long way. We still follow our healthy habits..for the most part. If it was not for my family I would not be where I am today. I believe we would still be unhealthy if we did not work together. Love my family!

-Jackie

Do Not Let Blue Monday Defeat You!

Quick post. Today is Blue Monday. What does this mean? The third Monday of January is when people are the most depressed because they did not stick to their New Year revolutions like they wished. Most people give up and go back to their old ways. If this is you then do not give in! It takes a whole month to get used to new habits and routines. Keep going! I know you all can do it. So not let Blue Monday defeat you!

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-Jackie

The Reason of My Weight Loss Journey

On Friday, January 16th I graduated at Monmouth University with my MA in English. It is one of the biggest accomplishments of my life. I worked so hard for this accomplishment. Many nights of reading, research, and writing, but I did it.

Not only this but when I look at pictures of myself when I received my BA..I noticed something about myself. Even though I was happy and smiling..I really was not happy. I was 232 lbs, I was unhealthy, my confidence level was low, and I did not like the way I look. I hated my BA pictures. The gown was too tight and I felt I looked huge. When I look at those pictures I knew there had to be a change. My BA pictures were showing me that something had to change.

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Since my BA I have lost 80 lbs but I did gain some weight due to muscle and some poor choices. Overall I lost 65. When I look at my MA pictures I feel a sense of accomplishment. Not just because of my degree but my overall journey as a person. A person who wanted more knowledge, a better life, and to be healthier.

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If you saw me on The Rachael Ray Show, a huge part was me being unhappy in my BA cap and gown. I refused to have my Mom hang any of the pictures up on the wall. I did not like what I saw. My graduation for my BA was May 2012 and the same month after my graduation party I started to make a change. I decided to make a difference with my health and body. I stopped treating my body like a trash can.

During my BA my roommate and good friend worked at the local bar. I went every weekend. Free/reduced prices on drinks and food. Everything was so bad for you too. In undergrad you started drinking as soon a Thursday and during midterms/finals/and papers it was all week. I treated my body like a trash can.
When I started my weight loss journey I barely drank and went to bars. I remember two times really drinking my first year at my weight loss journey and that was my trip to Las Vegas in August and a beer festival in March.

Now I try to do everything in moderation. A beer will not kill me. A french dip ONCE in a while is okay. I do have to be honest I did gain weight during my thesis writing because I did drink a little more than I should. One of my goals for 2015 is to drink less. Since New Years Eve the 16th was my first drink. I had to drink for my graduation! I sound like I am in AA..Anyway…I am proud of my accomplishments.

I feel better about myself and I am proud of how far I have come. Yes, my BA was the reason for my weight loss, but I am not stopping anytime soon. Who knows what the future brings. I need to be happy and healthy for what ever comes my way.

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I would like to thank everyone who has been supportive during my weight loss journey and while I was working for my Masters. I know who you are and I am GRATEFUL for what you have done.

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Thank you again. You the reader mean the world to me. I am very grateful you read my blog and watch my journey. I am grateful to gain praise but also receive advice. I am grateful to help others as well. Thank you!!

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Did I mention I got cake…I love cake. Yum…=)

-Jackie