Monday I went to Ocean City, NJ for the day to enjoy my first day off from the ESY program and to fix the problem of not going to the beach all summer! I did something I never did before. I wore my bikini! I NEVER wore my bikini in such a public setting. Usually I wear it in a backyard with little to no people.
So..I wore my bikini and guess what? Nothing happened! No stares..I did not burst into flames..Nothing happened. I enjoyed the beach and sun..reads book and did not care what people thought. It was awesome. I am ready for Mexico!!
So..Last night was a huge rush for me. Last time I felt this way was when I was on The Rachael Ray Show. I auditioned for a local horror attraction. I used to be in theater in high school but stopped due to my appearance. I never looked the part because I was 200 plus pounds. I too big to play Tracy from Hairspray..So I stopped doing shows. What was the point?
Now..the horror attraction may not seem like a big deal but the audition process was soo nerve wrecking. There had to be at least ten people watching you not be in costume. Also, they were video taping you and that was nerve wrecking.
They asked me to be a crazy clown, psycho killer, and zombie. I then had to do my best scream which made their chickens nearby freak out which was awesome. I think I nailed the audition. The one said I was so cute and tiny..and they liked that I could hide in small spaces. I think that was an awesome compliment.
The rush to audition again is something hard to explain but it is amazing. Better then any workout. I would have never had the confidence to do this if I was 232 lbs. I would have thought they were laughing at me rather than thought I was scary. Now that I am “cute and small” I have confidence!
I will not find out until the end of this month or start of September..but as the line from the Broadway Musical A Chorus Line, “I hope I get it!”