Long Time No See..

This month has been rather crazy and I have not updated in a while. Since the start of the month I have been teaching the college level at two schools.

  
 It has been a lot of work but I love it. I teach three Comp 102 courses at one school and a Reading course at the other. My Comp class is great. I feel so prepared and I feel like I am actually teaching the students. They are learning.

 Reading has been stressing me out. It is a remedial course and it is really tough to teach basics to new college students. I feel like I bomb every class. Since this stresses me out I am snacking again and I am too exhausted to workout.

 I have lost weight though. I think it is due to the stress. I think my stronger qualities is to teach writing and not reading comprehension. I then got a email today saying I am being observed for my reading course and I bombed badly Monday and Wednesday this week.

 So right now I am eating ice cream and drinking wine. Yup..unhealthy but I am stressed.
  

Welcome to being an adult where I suck at adulting. 
-Jackie

Losing Weight is like a Roller Coaster

  Earlier in the summer I did a cleanse and it went well but it was not realistic. It was a quick fix. I have found that this weight loss journey is not like a hill or mountain. To be cliche, it is like roller coaster. There are ups and downs. Ups that are high and downs that go way low..or downs that are small with little ups. 

   

 
  When I started my weight loss journey in 2012…I was 232 lbs. I was “out of order” with my roller coaster until I decided to fix it. I joined Weight Watchers and did amazing Bob Harper DVDs. I was at a all time high and my roller coaster ride was going down..down…down which gave me a rush.

  
 A year later in 2013..I was at my lightest weight. I lost 80 lbs…I appeared on The Rachael Ray show, people were following my blog/social media..I seem to be this inspiration. People was so proud of me and wanted my advice. I had such confidence and motivation.
Then the roller coaster stopped going down and went up..up..up..

  2014 was a little rough with my stress level. Graduate school was kicking my butt where I was stressed with my master’s thesis. I received  a different position at my job which led people telling me all these different things but no one really helped me. My money was very thin and things were just uneasy.

 2015 happened and I graduated in January which was exciting but I left my job and started a new. Now I am employed at five different places. I am working my dream job next week as a English professor but the stress is crazy. 

  
 So..here I am now. Up 30 lbs. My roller coaster will not go down. I have found drinking and eating poorly has become a regular. My confidence in my appearance is going down and I am missing my rush.

  

 Why am I sharing this? I am not meaning to be a sob story. I do not want pity. I am here to show awareness. No one is perfect. I have an addicting personality. Food/drinking is like drugs to me. I did well and I relapsed. It is normal.

 Why am I really sharing this?

  I went to a clothing store today which I love. I am trying to buy clothes for work. I have to admit..the store is for junior sizes. Who cares? I have buying clothes from these guys for the last couple years. I put on a tank top and I could not get it off. It was a size L..and it was the tightest thing ever. I thought I was going to live inside this shirt for the rest of my life.

  I was in the dressing room for almost fifteen minutes trying to get this shirt off. I was tugging and pulling but could not pull it up over the girls. So I pulled down…which was worse! I finally got it off but it was embarrassing. In the process I tore the top. I could not believe how bad this has gotten…

  
 Enough is enough. I am tired of feeling this way. There is no excuse it got this far. Stress? Stress should not do this to me. I am about to start a new phase in my life and ai should be healthy and confident.

  So it is over. This party is done. No more eating out and drinking. No more mindless snacking. I need to get back to Insanity workouts and drinking lots of water. I need to count my points and not eat because I am bored and stressed.

This is done.

-Jackie 

 

After the Cleanse

I never wrote what happened after the cleanse. It turned out a week later I gained four pounds. This was to be expected because I added carbs and protein back into my diet. I am finding I am not snacking as much as I used to be. I am craving more fruits then I used to. So I think the cleanse was a success. 

  
 Let us hope my cravings stay away..

  
 Last week I bought a dress that I love. I would have never had the confidence to wear something like this in the past.  I am usually a conservative person in my outfits because I do not think I can pull off clothes like this. My friends disagree but I think the TOMS make the dress.

  
 Do not worry..I did not wear the TOMS…
-Jackie

I Lost 8.5 Lbs on the One Week Cleanse!

  
 I believe the cleanse paid off! I lost 8.5 lbs in one week. I am thrilled. I did not do this cleanse because I wanted to lose weight in one week though. I did this cleanse to jump start my system and stop my cravings. 

  
 Yesterday I was allowed vegetables and fruit juice. The thing is I do not agree with fruit juice. Why? Fruit juice is full of sugar. Sugar makes you bloated and contain water weight. I tried to stay away from sugar during my cleanse.

  
 So instead of fruit juice I only had fruit for breakfast. I had veggies the rest of the day. I even went out with my boyfriend Brian to Salad Works and created my own. I did not eat it with dressing which was odd but I did it. 

 I have to be honest I am glad this is over. I am craving crabs and protein. I could never be a vegetarian. All power to you guys if you are. Granted I had no carbs this week either so maybe that would make things easier. I am just happy I can eat carbs and protein again. I do not seem to crave sugary things like dessert. We shall see what happens.

   
 
 I am posting this because I noticed I posted a different one earlier. If you want to try what I did this is the program I followed. The other one had a lot of chicken and turkey and I felt that was not a great cleanse for me. So if you have any questions hit me up with a comment. 

 This was NOT easy and it took a lot of will power. Also if you have illnesses or other things talk to your doctor first. This program is a lot on you. I felt myself being tired ALOT during this program because I had no protein in my body. So I suggest if you have to take medication or you have other things speak to a professional first. Do not listen to this twenty something girl from New Jersey.

  
 Now..excuse me while I devour this delicious English muffin filled with turkey bacon, egg, and cheese. Six points on Weight Watchers. Notice the blue berries..I am still eating my fruits even though I may turn into one after this week. =)

-Jackie

Day Six on the Cleanse was Great!

  
 Yesterday was great. I could eat vegetables and it was nice to eat any veggie I want. I had a salad for breakfast which seemed sort of weird but I did it. Lunch I smacked on raw veggies since the salad filled me up. Also for dinner I had my one cup of rice and mixed it with grilled veggies. It was delicious. I did cheat last night when I went out to the bar with my friends. I had two beers in the span of four hours which does not seem bad. It did not make me feel bloated like usual but it made me EXTREMELY tired.

  Yesterday I took a walk. I have not really worked out this week. From my research they claim not to workout really hard on the diet because you will have a hard time regaining the calories you burned. They tell you to take of easy.

   
 Forgive the lanuage but this meme fits me perfectly. During this diet I have noticed my dreams have been extremely weird but realistic. Not sure if anyone else goes through this during a cleanse but it is strange. One night I dreamed that my friends sister called me to tell me she passed away…One night I had a dream I had Parkinson’s Disease and I literally dreamed I was lying there unable to move and heard people talk about me..and last night I dreamed that bugs were crawling all over me and that felt real!

  I find these dreams to be odd. I do not know if it has anything to do with the cleanse or if I am nervous/stressed for my first college course I am teaching starts in almost a month. Could be both? I never dream and these dreams were so specific I found it odd..

Today is the last day of the cleanse! I got this. I am shocked I did this and kept it up. I only cheated when I went to a bar. At home I did not eat junk or anything. I am proud of myself! =) I can not wait to eat meat tomorrow!!!!

-Jackie

Day Five on the Cleanse was Weird but Satisfying  

Yesterday was weird on the cleanse just like Tuesday. Yesterday I was allowed to consume a cup of rice and six tomatoes. After every tomatoe I had to drink a glass of water due to the acid. 

  
 I thought this was weird and this was more restrictive then Tuesday. I thought I was going to fail at this but I was surprised. I did not feel really hungry yesterday except the end of my shift at work. Other then that I was satisfied through out the day. Drinking the water after my tomatoe filled me up and I did not have weird cravings. 

  
 I am having cravings of meat though. The GM version I am doing does not allow any meat. I am craving it like crazy. The last meat product I ate was maybe chicken a week ago? I had crab on Friday but I do not count fish. I am going to a BBQ on Saturday and I can not wait to eat meat..That is weird to look forward to. Not my family or spending the time with them..I want to eat meat. This diet is weird..

-Jackie 

Day Four on the Cleanse was…Weird

  
 The cleanse got weird yesterday. All I could have was bananas, milk, and yogurt. I can not eat bananas due to a oral allergic reaction so I changed it to avocados. The avocados were good but I did not eat many because of the high fat and they are high in Weight Watched points.

 It was amazing to have a glass of milk.  I was allowed three or yogurt. So I had a glass of milk for breakfast. It tasted so freakin good. It was insane. I then had yogurt two times during the day and that was amazing too. 

 My problem was when I had cravings I could not snack on anything. The couple days before this I could snack on fruit or veggies to get my mind of snacks. Yesterday I was so limited with food I did not know what to do. It was weird..

…And today is weirder. Today I can only have tomatoes and a cup of rice. It is going to be a weird day..

-Jackie