Losing Weight is like a Roller Coaster

  Earlier in the summer I did a cleanse and it went well but it was not realistic. It was a quick fix. I have found that this weight loss journey is not like a hill or mountain. To be cliche, it is like roller coaster. There are ups and downs. Ups that are high and downs that go way low..or downs that are small with little ups. 

   

 
  When I started my weight loss journey in 2012…I was 232 lbs. I was “out of order” with my roller coaster until I decided to fix it. I joined Weight Watchers and did amazing Bob Harper DVDs. I was at a all time high and my roller coaster ride was going down..down…down which gave me a rush.

  
 A year later in 2013..I was at my lightest weight. I lost 80 lbs…I appeared on The Rachael Ray show, people were following my blog/social media..I seem to be this inspiration. People was so proud of me and wanted my advice. I had such confidence and motivation.
Then the roller coaster stopped going down and went up..up..up..

  2014 was a little rough with my stress level. Graduate school was kicking my butt where I was stressed with my master’s thesis. I received  a different position at my job which led people telling me all these different things but no one really helped me. My money was very thin and things were just uneasy.

 2015 happened and I graduated in January which was exciting but I left my job and started a new. Now I am employed at five different places. I am working my dream job next week as a English professor but the stress is crazy. 

  
 So..here I am now. Up 30 lbs. My roller coaster will not go down. I have found drinking and eating poorly has become a regular. My confidence in my appearance is going down and I am missing my rush.

  

 Why am I sharing this? I am not meaning to be a sob story. I do not want pity. I am here to show awareness. No one is perfect. I have an addicting personality. Food/drinking is like drugs to me. I did well and I relapsed. It is normal.

 Why am I really sharing this?

  I went to a clothing store today which I love. I am trying to buy clothes for work. I have to admit..the store is for junior sizes. Who cares? I have buying clothes from these guys for the last couple years. I put on a tank top and I could not get it off. It was a size L..and it was the tightest thing ever. I thought I was going to live inside this shirt for the rest of my life.

  I was in the dressing room for almost fifteen minutes trying to get this shirt off. I was tugging and pulling but could not pull it up over the girls. So I pulled down…which was worse! I finally got it off but it was embarrassing. In the process I tore the top. I could not believe how bad this has gotten…

  
 Enough is enough. I am tired of feeling this way. There is no excuse it got this far. Stress? Stress should not do this to me. I am about to start a new phase in my life and ai should be healthy and confident.

  So it is over. This party is done. No more eating out and drinking. No more mindless snacking. I need to get back to Insanity workouts and drinking lots of water. I need to count my points and not eat because I am bored and stressed.

This is done.

-Jackie 

 

After the Cleanse

I never wrote what happened after the cleanse. It turned out a week later I gained four pounds. This was to be expected because I added carbs and protein back into my diet. I am finding I am not snacking as much as I used to be. I am craving more fruits then I used to. So I think the cleanse was a success. 

  
 Let us hope my cravings stay away..

  
 Last week I bought a dress that I love. I would have never had the confidence to wear something like this in the past.  I am usually a conservative person in my outfits because I do not think I can pull off clothes like this. My friends disagree but I think the TOMS make the dress.

  
 Do not worry..I did not wear the TOMS…
-Jackie

Transformation Tuesday: The Timehop App is the best Invention Ever

  
 I love the app Timehop. When I am down and feeling low I always look at this app. This app always shows how much I have accomplished. Not just weight loss but everything. Like fashion sense or a freakin hair style that did not hide my face. It is also cool to look at the app and go..”Oh! I did that this many years ago?!”  

 If you do not have the app I really recommend you get it. It is free and I look at it everyday. 

  
-Jackie

1 Week Cleanse Diet

If all of you know I am very disappointed in how I gained weight. My healthy habits are gone and I feel like I need to jump start once again. I did well before going to California but I  could have even done better.

So..I found this cleanse on Pinterest..

  
After reading this you may think I am crazy or that this is not healthy. I am only doing this for one week. Also..you may think that once I eat normal again I will gain the weight again. You are correct but I am not doing this because of the weight loss..yes I want go lose weight but that is not what I am doing for this week.

 For the week I am trying to embrace my idea of fruits and vegetables..staying out of the cabinet where the carbs and junk food is. I am trying to get into the habit to eat veggies and fruit when I am feeling hungry. So yes..after the next week I may gain weight again but I hope to gain my healthy habits again.

So wish me luck..call me crazy..and forgive for the things I say this week.
-Jackie

Healthy Cooking

I am trying to be adventurous with my cooking. I am also trying to prove that I can cook. What I have a hard time doing is cooking food and figuring out the Weight Watcher points for everything. I find it tedious and annoying to take each ingredient and break it down. I know..I am lazy. Then when I do figure it out the points are crazy and I have to try and figure out how to make it less points.

 Today I somewhat did this. I decided to make something I actually saw on  Buzzfeed. Yes..even I read that stuff. I enjoy the videos mostly. Anyway..they showed a way to eat an avocado. I love  avocado’s so much! But..they are so many Weight Watcher points. 2 oz is 2 points but I have never seen a 2 oz one. The ones I had were 4 oz and that makes it five points. Yes, they are a lot of points but they are good fats like nuts. 

  
 So this recipe is a avocado and you slice it in half. Then you take two eggs and crack them into the avocado. You preheat the oven for 425 degrees and then cook the avocado filled egg for 20-25 minutes. Once you are done you can put whatever you want. I put a little cheese and salsa on mine.

Weight Watchers Points

4 oz Avacado = 5

2 eggs = 4

Low fat cheese= 2

Salsa = 0 

Meal = 11

 The meal is a little heavy with points but I combined this meal as breakfast and lunch. 

  
 This meal was so good. I fell in love with it. You can tweek the recipe to make it less points with no cheese or anything but I love cheese. I may be on the look out for small avocados too. I highly recommend trying this if you love eggs and avocados. So good.

  
-Jackie

A Much Needed Update

I have not updated on here in a while. I apologize for this. The last couple of weeks in June were crazy. I was working multiple jobs and I traveled to California with Brian and his family. 

   
    
   
 I never been to California before and it was truly amazing. We went to Scaramento, Chico, San Fransisco, LA, Culver City, and San Dieago. I did a lot of walking and even went on a hike. While I was out there I even got to see my twin brother who moved out there a few months ago.

  
 Before I went there I was 170 lbs. I was so happy about my accomplishments before going. Well..this trip was designed for going to different breweries and of course you eat poorly..then Fourth of July weekend happened. When I weighed myself today..I am 181 lbs. ugh…I am so annoyed with myself.

 All I can do is try to get back on track. I worked out today and ate healthy. I am just annoyed of this constant struggle. I do not plan on going anywhere else this summer and if I do it is like a night or two stay.

I need to stay focused..
-Jackie

Transformation Tuesday: Last Five Years

 
 I felt I should share this picture. Not only have I lost weight in the last five years but many things have happened.  I grew up. 

  The 2010 me was awkward. I could not find a hair style I liked or I had no clue how to put make up on. In 2010 I was going to a community college about to go to a University to recieve a BA. Now I have a MA and will teach college in the fall. 2010 my confidence was no existing and I did not leave my comfort zone. 

 A lot has changed besides appearance. I felt I should share.
-Jackie