Long Time No See..

This month has been rather crazy and I have not updated in a while. Since the start of the month I have been teaching the college level at two schools.

  
 It has been a lot of work but I love it. I teach three Comp 102 courses at one school and a Reading course at the other. My Comp class is great. I feel so prepared and I feel like I am actually teaching the students. They are learning.

 Reading has been stressing me out. It is a remedial course and it is really tough to teach basics to new college students. I feel like I bomb every class. Since this stresses me out I am snacking again and I am too exhausted to workout.

 I have lost weight though. I think it is due to the stress. I think my stronger qualities is to teach writing and not reading comprehension. I then got a email today saying I am being observed for my reading course and I bombed badly Monday and Wednesday this week.

 So right now I am eating ice cream and drinking wine. Yup..unhealthy but I am stressed.
  

Welcome to being an adult where I suck at adulting. 
-Jackie

Losing Weight is like a Roller Coaster

  Earlier in the summer I did a cleanse and it went well but it was not realistic. It was a quick fix. I have found that this weight loss journey is not like a hill or mountain. To be cliche, it is like roller coaster. There are ups and downs. Ups that are high and downs that go way low..or downs that are small with little ups. 

   

 
  When I started my weight loss journey in 2012…I was 232 lbs. I was “out of order” with my roller coaster until I decided to fix it. I joined Weight Watchers and did amazing Bob Harper DVDs. I was at a all time high and my roller coaster ride was going down..down…down which gave me a rush.

  
 A year later in 2013..I was at my lightest weight. I lost 80 lbs…I appeared on The Rachael Ray show, people were following my blog/social media..I seem to be this inspiration. People was so proud of me and wanted my advice. I had such confidence and motivation.
Then the roller coaster stopped going down and went up..up..up..

  2014 was a little rough with my stress level. Graduate school was kicking my butt where I was stressed with my master’s thesis. I received  a different position at my job which led people telling me all these different things but no one really helped me. My money was very thin and things were just uneasy.

 2015 happened and I graduated in January which was exciting but I left my job and started a new. Now I am employed at five different places. I am working my dream job next week as a English professor but the stress is crazy. 

  
 So..here I am now. Up 30 lbs. My roller coaster will not go down. I have found drinking and eating poorly has become a regular. My confidence in my appearance is going down and I am missing my rush.

  

 Why am I sharing this? I am not meaning to be a sob story. I do not want pity. I am here to show awareness. No one is perfect. I have an addicting personality. Food/drinking is like drugs to me. I did well and I relapsed. It is normal.

 Why am I really sharing this?

  I went to a clothing store today which I love. I am trying to buy clothes for work. I have to admit..the store is for junior sizes. Who cares? I have buying clothes from these guys for the last couple years. I put on a tank top and I could not get it off. It was a size L..and it was the tightest thing ever. I thought I was going to live inside this shirt for the rest of my life.

  I was in the dressing room for almost fifteen minutes trying to get this shirt off. I was tugging and pulling but could not pull it up over the girls. So I pulled down…which was worse! I finally got it off but it was embarrassing. In the process I tore the top. I could not believe how bad this has gotten…

  
 Enough is enough. I am tired of feeling this way. There is no excuse it got this far. Stress? Stress should not do this to me. I am about to start a new phase in my life and ai should be healthy and confident.

  So it is over. This party is done. No more eating out and drinking. No more mindless snacking. I need to get back to Insanity workouts and drinking lots of water. I need to count my points and not eat because I am bored and stressed.

This is done.

-Jackie 

 

Transformation Tuesday: Last Five Years

 
 I felt I should share this picture. Not only have I lost weight in the last five years but many things have happened.  I grew up. 

  The 2010 me was awkward. I could not find a hair style I liked or I had no clue how to put make up on. In 2010 I was going to a community college about to go to a University to recieve a BA. Now I have a MA and will teach college in the fall. 2010 my confidence was no existing and I did not leave my comfort zone. 

 A lot has changed besides appearance. I felt I should share.
-Jackie

Weekends are a Struggle

The weekend is my enemy. As much as I love not going to work I feel as if I slack on the weekends with clean eating. Yes, I do workout because I feel I have the time but I always find food kills me. I also feel I have programmed this thought in my mind where the weekend means I can “cheat” and it is terrible. 
 Not only this but there are SO many events on the weekend for me. Parties, going out to bars and restaurants, and ect. Last night I went out with my girlfriends. We went out to eat first. I got a egg white feta and spinach omelette, tomatoes, and three small sausages. I was so proud of my food choice. I never seem to make good choices when I go out to eat. I did last night. Granted..I did have two tequila Sprites and some weird (but delicious) alcoholic pudding at the bar. I still was proud I controlled myself.
   

  Tonight I am going out with Brian. We decided Saladworks and I planned my meals ahead of time. We are going to the drive-in to see two movies and we are not getting food there. Usually, I will get food there but it is all so bad for you. I feel I am doing the right thing for tonight. So proud of myself.
 Tomorrow should be fine too. Nothing crazy will happen tomorrow. I should be fine if I plan accordingly. I enjoy doing Jumpstart to Skinny. I did cheat with having a drink but I feel I am excelling in everything else.
   

-Jackie 

Losing 20 lbs in Three Weeks

Yikes! Where have I been? My last blog post was May 5th and it is almost June. No, I did not die..I just stopped posting. Why? I was not losing weight and I lost my motivation. I kept gaining weight and my workouts were ending. Once I was 152 lbs and now I am at 175 lbs. I have gained over twenty pounds. Do not get me wrong..I did not gain it over night. I actually gained it in the course of two years. I just could not seem to get my weight back down. Last summer I was around 158 to 162 and I was fine with that. I thought, “Maybe this is the weight I am supposed to be.” I thought..I am still working out and being somewhat healthy, but I can indulge here and there. I was fine…until…LIFE happened.

If you are aware a lot of major changes happened in my life the last couple of months. Since January I graduated with my MA in English, I left my old job and gained five jobs..where one will be my dream job in the fall, I still have no health insurance, and my brother moved all the way to California where I live in New Jersey. Remember..he is my twin. So a lot has happened and I do not do well with change. I miss my old job with having co-workers, I liked health insurance, and I actually miss school. My five jobs are fine but I am missing what I used to have. Since I miss and stress..I eat. So in the course of a few months I gained almost ten pounds.

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(The one on the left is from last year in May and the one on the right is this year.)

I got relaxed with going to convenience stores and buying candy..drinking more, and going out to eat. I stopped counting points/calories and just did not care because I was mindlessly eating. Since I was eating and gaining weight I started to loath working out. I started to feel sluggish. Insanity which I used to enjoy made me feel sick and I started to hate it for I felt I could not keep up. My workouts started to twiddle down.

Then the talking happened..people asking me if I am still “ON WEIGHT WATCHERS” or over hearing people talking about how I must of stopped. My worst fear has come true..people were talking about ME and my weight in a negative way again. Of course…I should not care and be like, “Who the hell are you to talk about me like that?” but it hurts and it reminds me of high school. No one wants to be around the fat girl. Trust me..I lived through it. It took me five times to ask someone to be my prom date and it was due to my weight.

So, I am here. I am going to try. You know what I am going to do about it? Two words…

BOB HARPER

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I am going to practice his JumpStart to Skinny. I am going to give it a try. I received this book when I appeared on the Rachael Ray Show back in 2013. I have to be honest..I read the book but I did not think the book was for me. This program is not for everyone. The program is a 3-Week plan to lose 20 lbs quickly. IT IS NOT A LIFE CHOICE. This program is for important events such as a wedding, reunion, vacation, and ect..I am going away in the end of June. I am scared to death I will gain even more weight. Also, none of my clothes fit. Even though I have five jobs, I still have no money to go out and buy all these things. I just need motivation and confidence and I think this program will work.

So I am going to do my best to practice all of his steps in this program. I will do the best that I can. I do admit that I will not be doing his meal preps. I have my own ideas for meal preps. I did rejoin Weight Watchers at the end of April and I plan on sticking with that still. I do plan to follow his rules the best that I can.

Clean-Eating-Meme

Rule #1: Take Control with Proper Portions 

This is a no brainier. We all eat the wrong portion sizes. Just look at going to a restaurant. The portion sizes are crazy. I have to say I am not terrible with taking control with portions..when I am not lazy. I have been measuring a lot of stuff out lately but I need to take more focus on it.

Rule #3: Cut Back on Calories: Then Cut Back Again

Bob suggests that I eat 800 calories a day. That is really not a lot. As crazy as it  sounds..it can be done. I did the math with Weight Watchers. I found many sites that say that 1 Weight Watcher point = 40 calories. I am not sure how correct this is but I have seen this is numerous web sites. So I am allowed 26 points but it turns out that it is still TOO much for Mr. Harper. I would have to eat 20 points to have it equal 800 calories. 20 points is not a lot and it is very tough but if you plan ahead of time..it can be done. So for the next three weeks I will need to plan my meals ahead of time and NO SNACKS!!

Rule #3: Eat No Complex Carbs After Breakfast

I can do this. This seems pretty easy. I am not a pasta kind of girl so I will not miss spaghetti.

Rule #4: Get Rid of Water Weight by Drinking More Water

I am SOOO bad at this one. For some reason I never drink enough water. Bob Harper wants me to drink two large glasses of water before every meal and make sure I drink a total of 80 ounces a day. GOOD LORD…I will be in the bathroom every twenty minutes. My problem is I can not do this while substitute teaching. So I will do the best I can with drinking 80 ounces a day. I do agree I need to drink more water..

Rule #5: Get Your Electrolytes

I must admit that I never did this before…until I read this rule. Electrolytes is in fruits and veggies! Not sports drinks. I am the fruit and veggie queen!

Rule #6: Do 45 Minutes a Day of Low-Intensity Cardio, Preferably Before Breakfast

Here is the thing..I can not workout before breakfast. Here is how crazy I am. Ever since I was a little kid, when I woke up I HAD to eat something. My stomach will grumble and I will feel sick until I eat something. Also, I never have time in the morning. I usually wake up to my phone ringing for a sub job and I usually have to get ready quickly for it. As for working out 45 minutes a day..I can do that.

Rule #7: Five Times a Week at Any Time of Day, Do 15 to 20 Minutes of my Jumpstart Moves

This is pretty interesting. In his book he has some moves like Sit-ups,mountain climbers,lateral jumps,high-knee tucks,jump rope, burpees, and many many more.Now I could do one of these moves for 15 minutes before work.I will just wake up earlier to do this. 45 minutes is harder for me. I love the workouts he includes in the book.

Rule #8: Cut the Salt

Now I am pretty good at this one. Salt is awful because it makes you retain water..if you retain water..you then gain weight.

Rule #9: Take Advantage of the Restorative Power of Daily Fish Oil

Erm..I am not sure about this one. I know nothing about fish oil.

Fish-Oil-Spongebob

Rule # 10: Fall Back on Veggies!

Again, this is easy. I love Veggies.

Rule # 11: No Fruit During Week 3

Say whaaaaaaat?! I LOVE FRUIT! I eat an apple every morning. After reading the chapter it did make sense. Fruit has  fructose and fructose is something that “skews our metabolism toward fat storage rather than fat burning” (Harper 39). So it makes sense. I do not think a apple that week will kill me but I may try to cut down on the fruit for that week for what he says in the chapter makes sense.

Rule #12: Lay Off All Booze

For the love of God..get me away from this stuff. I am a firm believer booze is why I gained this much weight. I can lay off the booze until my vacation. I know I can.

Rule #13: An Espresso a Day…or Two or Three

I have never had an espresso. I drink coffee in the morning though. Bob Harper tells us it is supposed to be taken black and with no artificial sweetener. I do drink my coffee black but I have to admit I use sweeteners..which I know are bad for you. Maybe instead of drinking the espresso..I will stick to coffee but try something else to make it sweet.

So here we have it…all the rules. Again, the book has meal plans which seem great but I am starting this tomorrow and I do not have the time (another excuse) to go out and buy things. So I am sticking to Weight Watchers and my 20 points a day. I have a meal plan of my own written out where I am following all these rules. Maybe I will post it in the future.

I am nervous..I really want this to work. I need to get my mind out of the gutter and really work for this. Bob Harper..you helped me once before..I know you can help me again.

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Wish me luck..

-Jackie

Transformation Tuesday: A Picture That Shocked Me

  When going on FB you always forget the past. It is hard to do when the only thing you see on your timeline is things happening in the now. One day during the weekend I grew bored and decided to look at pictures from my past. When looking through these pictures it was of times when I was younger and doing more with my friends. Only problem is it was when ai was over 230 lbs.



 When I found this before picture of me I was shocked. I did not even recognize the person in the first picture. I could not believe the structure of my face and truly how big I was. Granted, I was still a wonderful person and I was still beautiful. I am just shocked.

 Sometimes a shocking picture like this can really motivate you to say you have worked so hard. A picture like this reminds you to keep going. I should look at FB more often.

-Jackie

Transformation Tuesday: In a Dress

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When I was younger and over weight I hated the idea of wearing a dress and getting dressed up. I did not feel confident in one. I felt like for my age strapless was age appropriate but I hated my arms. When I wore sleeves I hated that because I felt it still focused attention on my arms. I just felt huge dressed up.
Now I have huge confidence in a dress. I love wearing dresses and I have so much confidence in my arms. Weight lifting and insanity will do that to you!

I thought I would share this.

-Jackie