The reason I have not been posting is for two reasons. 1.) Graduate school is taking over my life. I am always reading, writing, and researching. It is consuming everything out of me. But mostly 2.) I am me embarrassed to write anything. 152 lbs? That is a lie. How about we try when I weighed myself the start of the month and it said I was 168 lbs.
I am so upset with my self. I am embarrassed to even have a weight loss blog. I feel that I have become out of control with my eating and I can not stop it. I find myself snacking like crazy and eating when I am not hungry. I find myself not writing what I am not eating and just not caring. I do care but my thoughts have gone back to my old ways. I am heavier now then when I met Bob Harper. I am so upset with myself.
This is such a huge struggle for me and I guess this journey will always be. I always feel guilty after I eat something now. I work my ass off at the gym but then I ruin if later. I feel like I am a disappointment. I feel like my clothes do not fit. I feel all this negative energy and stress and I am really sorry. I think I will not post for a while..Not until I get my act together. I am so upset with myself.